So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
