remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize