"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
