i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
