is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
