He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
