Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
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