I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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