You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize