Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
