His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
