either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
