you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
