Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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