there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you will always have a special place in my vag
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
