i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize