And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
