Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
