Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
