Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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