is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
