You're so nebulous sometimes
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
they're like a gay fantastic four
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
