Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
