but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
