my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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