Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Oh god it's open bar.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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