How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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