Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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