Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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