You made me cry and you don't even care
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
