Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
