Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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