Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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