the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
