Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize