K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
