i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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