Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize