I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
