The maid of honor just puked.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he fucked my hip out of place.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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