Princesses don't give blow jobs
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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