Kiss
Puke
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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