In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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