Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
