I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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