1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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