Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
