I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
