Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
