woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
did i just pee glitter
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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