In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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