Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
