she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
