when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
