My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
