this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
