I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
