Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
