All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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