He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
