Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
