I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
